Sports Center with a vibrator

Man, who knew that a farm could be so funny. One has to wonder about the ironies in life. To be where I was and to recieve messages that I was recieving is just funny. I guess being not "anally scheduled" is just a part of where I'm at, and helps me not overthink what happens anymore. I am trying to enjoy things as they are, and that's a great feeling.

Sadness or Euphoria

Everything is so different in my life for the first time. Not really the first time I'm sure, but for the right reasons it is the first time. I have no center, no false pretense to hold myself upon. What I do now is day to day. This may be the only time I have ever believed that. I have always held myself as such an individual. But I think until you realize that life is not always about yourself, you cannot really grow. Growth should not be mistaken for great times. A wise man once said..."They say that these are not the best of times, but they're the only times I've ever known." My God how true that is. Because "We are always what our situations hand us."

Sadness or Euphoria.

No Answer

I have no answer for the first time in my life. No convenient lie to tell myself. I have nothing to hide from. No story to tell. But what is it that I feel? I do not know. Am I holding on or letting go? Sometimes I think I'm no good. All the lies I live get me nowhere on the inside. I just can't close it off, shut it down. It was all I had to look forward to, all I believed in (in my own weird way). No it's all different now, and I have no control.